Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Letter to Kevin

Hi Sweetheart,

I know you are always with me and are now enjoying my spending time in Boynton Beach with the girls. It's been fun. I've had so many thoughts running through my mind and memories we shared. I use to think you could read my mind. I don't know if that's still true. Just in case it isn't, let me share some thoughts.

Serena and I went to the beach a couple of mornings and you can imagine, the flood of memories and thoughts running through my mind. /there are so many things I want to share with you.

The other day, when I stepped off the sand and board pathway from the parking lot onto the beach it was like finally being home. I wiggled my toes into the sand and was immediately grateful for the inviting warmth and softness of the sand, the fresh clean breeze set off by the vast infinite ocean and sky view.. I said to myself, "I am so glad to be planting my feet in sand rather than cold wet snow." I never did and never will miss the cold and confining northern winter.

You brought me here. It was you. From The cold north to sunny Florida. You went and I followed. So many mornings, afternoons, evenings we spent on the beach. We walked, sometimes miles, gathering treasures brought and deposited on the beach by the tides. We sat and gazed across the water watching ships navigating their ways north and south along the line between ocean and sky.

There is something about being on the beach, feeling like you are at land's end with everything about life behind you and this vast space of  peace and tranquility before you. The place where I can walk, stand, sit, or lay down and feel free to clear my mind, breathe fresh air and feel the sun caressing my skin. They say a walk on the beach is good for your heart. I believe it and add it is good for my mind, body and soul.

I thought I would feel sad this time at the beach without you. I miss you every day, no matter what I do. Yet at the beach now I feel quietly happy.  I have so many great memories of you. You LOVED the beach. There were years when you went every morning.  On days off when we went together you packed the cooler with snacks, water and beer to last from early morning to dinner time.

Remember the time you found the bottle with the note in it from Cuban scientists who were studying tide movements of something?  Dozens floated in along our beach. There was a story about it in the paper.  I will look it up in your journal and what you wrote about it. You found two of them and gave one to Sam.  You collected pounds of sea glass, sea beans and sea hearts. We had quite a collection of shells and sand dollars. You were always happy to be on the beach. With me, with friends, with family, by yourself. The beaching was a calming, comforting place, always.

More specifically those beaches that became home to us in South Florida. The least pretentious places. Where nature provides the entertainment.

I could write all day about those times. But you share those memories with me. I know it is all still in your heart and spirit.  I just want to tell you what it's meant to me. The best of times with you. I will never forget us and what shaped our lives.

There will be more trips to the beach with you on my mind. And many more other places, people and things I will encounter in my future of our lives together.

Love always,

PS. I turned 70 last week, Stephanie and Serena threw a surprise birthday party with Maia and Taryn plus some old friends and former workmates that I have missed. Went to a Mother's Day Tea luncheon with Maia, Serena, Stephanie, Fenya  and Savannah. Celebrated Mothers Day with dinner at Maia's with Taryn, Frank, Stephanie and Serena Then played this crazy card game Guillotine compliments of Cody. Been to the beach, the pool, the Science Museum and spent a lot of time relaxing. Binge watching Grace and Frankie and The Crown. Whew. I've been busy and there is more to come.