I've read this before, many years ago. Probably you have, too. Today it is so meaningful to my life.
“Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used
Put no difference in your tone, Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household world that it always was,
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It it the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well. ”
Last night we watched baseball playoffs. Well, I turned the games on and updated Kevin with scores and asides. Today, I've tuned in College Football all day, just for Kevin. He always wanted me to sit and watch with him, but I am too antsy for that and he got use to my wandering in and out of the living room. Besides, he was okay with my making a meal or two during the marathon sessions with the TV.
I talk to Kevin. He doesn't answer, but I know he is here, with me. I miss Kevin everyday and would do whatever possible to bring him back , alive and well. That isn't possible, so I settle for his being with me, in spirit.
Someone posted this quote on Face Book today and I was immediately struck by it. I found this excerpt on Good Reads. That was one of Kevin's favorite websites. He spent hours there, reviewing books he'd read.
This quote is consoling to me. Sometimes, I feel what I do, like turning on sports for him, my jabbering about scores, players and offering high fives is a little out there.
Reading this ancient piece eases my mind. For centuries people have dealt with loss, grief, mourning and discovering the best way to go forward. It doesn't ease the pain, yet serves to reassure us.
Hey Kevin, we'll be watching lots of baseball tomorrow. Go Indians.
Nice letter from an old friend
I received a thoughtful, heartfelt letter from Matt Schaaf, one of Kevin's oldest and dearest friends from Erie. He enclosed a round metal "Tuit," he's had since He and Kevin spent many Saturday nights drinking 35¢ drafts at Chambers, a favorite Erie bar that's long gone. They each had a Chambers "Tuit" medallion which is, well, maybe this picture is the best way to describe it:
Matt wrote about their times together and how much Kevin's friendship meant to him. His letter brought tears and solace.
Round Tuit (get it?) was something they both had at one point. It must have been a popular hand out from the bar. Kevin loved freebies like this, so I know it is something he treasured. Matt had his on his key chain for years and wrote it always reminded him of his friend, Kevin. Thank you Matt for sharing it and the stories behind it.
Oh yes, I read Matt's letter to Kevin.
I haven't dug too deeply into his many collections stash boxes, envelopes and drawers. It still gets too upsetting. One of these days, though I will hunt and maybe find Kevin's Tuit.
Another great friend, Steve Urbanski often shares thoughts and memories of Kevin, with me. They enjoyed each other's cleverness and sense of humor. I enjoyed watching the two in action.
I am grateful as well, for the stories passed on to me from other friends and family members. It is amazing how all of this keeps me from feeling alone and anxious to share my Kevin stories with you.
Here is a Moon Flower, might be the last bloom for this year. Kevin loved it when these plants flowered. They smell amazing.
Last subject is my hip
I have osteoarthritis in my left hip. That's what the X-rays earlier this week. revealed. I haven't been back to my doctor's yet, but read up and it is pretty much what he had suggested. Motrin, arthritis cream to treat topically, stretching and aerobic exercises. Guess I won't be gong on any three-mile walks again.
Have a great test of your weekend and thank you for reading my posts. Love and Hugs.