When my brother's wife died suddenly, He asked me to help out with going through her things. He drove for Mayflower, coast to coast and was away from home a lot. He'd been on the road when she passed and he was lost. Two of their four children were still teenagers. I waited for a couple of weeks, before making the trip to his home in upstate New York. The family obviously was in shock and immobile. Her purse still sat on the stool by the wall phone, There were signs of her everywhere, except for her. After a few days I started with their bedroom, sorting through things to keep and things to donate. The kids stood by, saddened. It was hard for them and for me, as well. My brother took his youngest and one of his sons on a two-day trip to visit relatives. He figured that would be enough time for me to finish my task, including taking boxes of clothes and items not to keep, to a charity. However, as soon as he left the other two children had other plans. They weren't ready to see their mom's clothes, shoes, bags, etc. be taken away. We talked about it at length. I understood what they were going through, yet I made a promise to my brother.
I need to add, they are very smart and clever kids. They wanted to store the boxes in the already crowded attic. They would make room and they would move the boxes for me. Dad wouldn't know because he had no reason to go into the attic. he wouldn't know.. I weighed my options and agreed to go along with their plan. I sensed their immediate relief. It worked out for the best.
A year passed before they were able to sort through her things on their own and pass stuff along. My brother understood.
Thinking about them in their horrible time of grief has been very helpful for me as I sort. I am keeping a lot of Kevin's shirts. His long-sleeved t-shirts keep me comfortable on chilly mornings when I go walking. The hats I made for him keep my ears warm. Other shirts,his Irish apparel or holiday wear and some sweaters are also too precious to pass along.
Whether I keep or let go, everything serves a purpose. and that makes letting go, possible. A little at a time. Back into the stream of life. Or what I hold close and dearly that I may never want to let go.
Update about me
I am going to the doctor for regular check up and update on my hip and the osteoarthritis. When I went last Friday, they didn't have me scheduled for an appointment. I brought my appointment card along just in case, because this happened to me at this office once before. Turned out someone else had the same problem and it was because the person who set up the appointment and handed me the card neglected to add it to the schedule on the computer. So, they were booked and had to reschedule me for this Wednesday. Oh well. I've been walking with my neighbor who has sciatica and I think that is what's bothering me more than arthritis. We'll see. Leg is actually feeling better with all of the sorting and moving boxes I've been doing.
Got my new glasses today and am getting use to them.
I am feeling more productive. Am planning a yard sale over Veterans' Day weekend to unload some of my mess and raise funds for much needed dental work.
I received an invitation from Gannon University Alumni Association today to attend an "annual Mass of Remembrance offered for the souls of members who passed away in this year." It will be held Thursday, November 3rd at 11 a.m. with lunch served afterward. Obviously I can't be there. Annie, would you like to attend on my behalf?
Try to enjoy theses cooler fall days and the fall apple season. Just had a Cortland and it reminds me of the northern crisp weather and the best apples in the world.
Thank you for reading my posts and your kind responses.