Friday, September 30, 2016

Walking and thinking go together

This is my sharing of grief, loss and the daily act of coping with the death of my loving husband, Kevin. He passed away on June 26th after a devastating year-long battle with lung cancer that metastasized.

I've been walking and also thinking about this fantastic article I read a few weeks ago. It is right up my alley. Has to do with walking and its benefits, specifically for brain function and for writing.

Here it is and I hope you take some time to read it:  Why Walking Helps Us Think

I have many reasons for being interested in this notion. I feel great after a walk. Not necessarily a physical feeling. More euphoric and ready to share the experience. These days my thoughts are always about Kevin. When I walk I feel anxious to share with him the sights, the sounds, narrate a story for him about how much our old hometown has changed since we lived here. I want to reassure him, I am doing okay, even though I miss him so much.

One of our last walks:



In some way it helps me to deal with my grief.

I want Kevin to know how much I enjoyed time spent with Stephanie Serena, Maia and Taryn after his passing. While I was with them I never felt like fish as in Kevin's favorite Benjamin Franklin quote,
"Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days."
I also feel enlightened, mentally going over a recent conversation or suddenly realizing why something is the way it is. Okay, I am not making a lot of sense, but I know what I mean because I took a walk today.

While I was in Boynton Beach, our old home town, I spent many days wondering and wandering. I retraced areas where we rode our bikes a dozen years ago. I spent time on the beach walking along the shoreline gathering shells and gazing across the water, scanning the horizon, as we did back then, for ships and signs of life. This time I watched for signs from Kevin.

I thought about how much the city has changed. It is no longer a little town along the meandering strand of cities that make up South Florida. Thankfully, it hasn't lost its charm. There is lots of traffic and many high rise condos and apartment buildings. Kevin saw the development in action during prior trips back, before the cancer. During my recent visit, I was immersed in it mainly through daily walks . My wish was to share everything, all of my thought-walking with him.

Now I am back home and been walking our Brooksville neighborhood. I realize how important it is for me to get out and walk. Not only does it help me with writing this blog, it somehow provides new creative ways to sum up life, as well as dream up anything I choose,

I am repeating myself. I've always felt inspiration from walking, but seldom bothered writing those epiphanies or thoughts down. They would float around in my brain and then get tucked away, not to be found. Now I know.

Thanks to this article I will be sharing most every one of my walking thoughts with you.

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