Friday, September 16, 2016

Busy day, a good busy

This is my sharing of grief, loss and the daily act of coping with the death of my loving husband, Kevin. He passed away on June 26th after a devastating year-long battle with lung cancer that metastasized. 

It was one of those nights, last night. I went to bed tired at 10:30, but had a hard time falling to sleep. Once I did start sleeping, I kept wondering how our bodies automatically know when to put us in sleep mode and when to make us wake up. So amazing how that works. I woke up often during the night and early morning and finally got up at 7:30 which is later than usual for me.

My thoughts this morning

Today will be fun. I am going out to lunch with Anna and Sally to their favorite bar in Homosassa. I an looking forward to having a good visit with my friends.

So, between getting up late and getting psyched for my lunch date, I thought about putting of  my daily walk. It is a precious habit, I try not to break. I was a daily walker until Kevin became sick. Now I am happily back in the habit. But, in this case and since it is already hot and steamy out... Wait a minute, I told myself. WWKD? I know, I know. He would at least make the effort of getting out there, even for a shortened trip around the neighborhood. So, I went, expecting to do a little circle and be home in ten or fifteen minutes. Instead I dutifully marched 2  miles in 39 minutes. Pretty good. I realized it is better to at least make the attempt and not break the habit chain unless it is totally necessary.

Kevin was ace at keeping up habits. His longest running was keeping a daily journal for way longer than I knew him. Sometimes he would simply record the weather and add a note or to about his day. When something worth being noted occurred, he would include it. I can't tell you how many times We would be talking about something that happened in the past, but couldn't remember when or some other detail. After narrowing it done to the month and/or year it happened, he would go to his diaries and find a passage about the event or whatever. The only gaps in his decades long journal keeping happened when he was too ill to write. Mostly when he was in the hospital or having some medical procedure, he would have me take notes and he planned to copy them into his journal, later.

He was also an avid bike rider for a few years, especially when we lived in Bluffton, SC, in the low country and there were miles of bike trails. The best part was there weren't any hills. Kevin rode as many days a week as possible for six or seven years until his legs started hurting when he rode and the hills we have where we now live that are steep.

By the way, in the early 90's when Kevin was between newspaper editor  jobs, he took a course at Boca Raton Community Hospital and became a CNA. He worked there and very much enjoyed it for several months until he went back to papers as a writer and eventually Sports Editor. It was hard work for little pay, yet he loved his coworkers and his interaction with patients.

An afternoon with Anna and Sally

Yes, I had fun with my mother and daughter friends, Sally and Anna. We did go to their favorite hang out, The Old Mill, which is a neighborhood bar. I had today's special, a fresh fish taco and it was delicious. But the food was a small part of the experience. Those two women keep me smiling and they love remembering Kevin and good times we all had together.

One hilarious thing that happened is when Anna took off her shirt. Turned some heads from the men at the bar. what happened is when we first sat down, the chair Anna sat on had something sticky on it. She moved to another seat and the waitress cleaned the sticky chair off. When we were finished eating, Anna stood up and we realized she had the sticky stuff on the back of her shirt. Well, Anna proceeded to take her shirt off and Sally started waving her arms, saying no, no, no. And that's what got the bar crowd's attention. I broke into laughter as Anna had on a sports bra which was more like a swim top.  The guys quickly went back to watching TV and their drinks. I guess Sally panicked when she saw Anna taking her shirt off. Was a good laugh.

So here we are having lunch and a good time on this Friday afternoon;

A little levity

We talked about how I met Kevin, which they insist I write about. So stay tuned. It was nice to get out for a while and spend time with friends. They enjoyed getting away for lunch, as well.. Kevin and I spent many days on their porch watching the wildlife that lived along the spring that flowed through their backyard. The spring wasn't so nice to them the tidal surge from Hurricane Hermine pushed 4-5 inches of water throughout the first flow of their home. They in turn, pushed the brackish water out just about as soon as it came in. They keep saying how much it hurts to see how many of their neighbors endured worse damage and lost so much. Today one of the waitresses told us her home was flooded with 8 inches of water that never receded for several days. They lost four vehicles, furniture, appliances, flooring, walls, And they don't live near the water. FEMA hasn't been around to offer her family aid. She says she and her husband are do the best they can to fix their home.

Okay, so off topic, but I did want to share with you, what my day was like and how important it was for me to be with our friends. Kevin was with us. i feel he sat quietly. listening and enjoyed letting the me. Anna and Sally carry on about everything, including all things nice about Kevin. I miss him everyday and so do his friends.

Thank you for reading my post.

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